Here I am Lord...Send ME!

Every time that I plan my future after I graduate from college, the Lord empresses on my heart that I belong elsewhere. I have made plans to teach high school, move to Mississippi to be with my family and move on to obtain my Masters in Education. Then I hear a small whisper that I need to be doing something else.

Two weeks ago I heard the whisper again, and I have stepped out in faith. Lord willing by February of 2013 I will be moving to Honduras. I will be a missionary to a community of people in the city of SanPedril on el Monte de Santidad (Holy Mountain). I have listened to the Lord and committed two years of service.

Every imperfection and inadicuacy has entered my mind, to why I should not go. I am reminded of the story of Moses is Exodus 4. Moses tried every excuse in the book of why he could not go before Pharaoh and set the Israelites free from slavery, but God always had a rebuttal.

I may not be ordained, have a ministry license, under a large church fellowship or have years of experience but, I have a calling on my life from the Almighty God of the universe that continues to equip me everyday. I am sitting at the feet of Jesus with my empty cup and taking my first steps out of the boat!

So its official. I'm a missionary to Honduras.

Good and Gooder

Well the healthy eating is still in progress...I have been exercising to Shawn T dancin and groovin. It has been a hilarious workout every morning since I have no groove. Aside from eatin, I have another fork in the road.

I remember a great man of God say that as a Christian we know the difference between good and evil. Along our journey though we will come to a fork in the road where we have to chose between good and gooder. Sometimes God's perfect will in our lives is not that clear, fireworks don't go off and trumpets do not sound. Two choices are before us that seem great kingdom building opportunities, yet we have to choose which is the path for us.

For example, I have the opportunity to sing with the worship team and church or help the youth every Wednesday night. Both are great evangelizing opportunities yet I have to choose which is for me. At these moments in life I wish God would send me a memo and say "Michelle, pick this...go this way...choose this".

Sometimes there is no flash sign above the pathway, we need to listen to his still soft voice. Look past what I want and pray for what God wants. So...God what do you want?

Day 546

So I lost count of my days. I was on vacation. I am sure that many of you know that on vacation there is no such thing as eating healthy. Even if I try I end up drawn to the chip bag. My vacation to Mississippi has been a success! I have stepped on the "scale" and lost 1lb.

I think that it was the tubing and holding on for dear life that allowed me to be 1 pound lighter! Thank God I am not 1 pound heavier. Onward with my journey, I have a lifetime to go but I feel confident.

Day 6

You know you are older when your Saturday consists of weeding your flower beds. Yet in the moment of pulling weeds I found a small, glass and colorful marble. This small and simple marble brought such a big smile to my face. It reminded me of finding these remarkable glass toys in the back yard of my grandma's house.

It reminded my of how much freedom there was. I had no responsibility but to know how long it had been since I ate so I could go swimming, what time the street lights came on, and how boys had cooties. This small little marble reminded me of my dad.

God's word says "unless you become like little children, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven" (Matthew 18:3). I would run to my dad with all my scraps and bruises. When I fell, once again, getting into the pool or fell off the tire swing, I ran to my dad looking for help. That is how God expects us to come to him; like little children running with our arms out looking for help.

I think we make our lives more difficult than what they should be. Today I look to my heavenly father with my little marble in hand and everything seems so simple, childlike.

Day 4

Today was an extremely long day. I am extremely tired and feel like my dinner was not that healthy but I did walk this morning, so I guess it makes up for it.

I am empty of words of wisdom today, my eyes are slowly shutting and I need to find my pillow and call it a night.

Tomorrow may stir some words of encouragement and more adventurous stories of the FOOD WAR!

Day 3

I think that shopping in a healthy food store, makes you feel healthy. Thanks Trader Joes! I feel like I can make it another day eating healthy.

I promised that I would not mention this is in my blog, but I can't resist. Morning devotional was on the scripture from Joshua 6 and the wall of Jericho. Joshua defeated God's enemies by being obedient and walking around the city 7 times. On the 7th time the walls of the city fell down and God's enemies were defeated by Joshua and his small army.

To explain my long story, real short and less embarrassing, I experienced the walls of Jericho falling down by walking 7 times this morning during exercise! God can make what seems impossible, possible! and the walls that we build up in our lives can come crashing down!

The enemy has been defeated, death couldn't hold me down, I'm going to lift my voice in victory, I'm going to make you praises known. Click on the link below, GREAT SONG!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kjZfkgqHydM

Day 3, SUCCESS!!

A heart translplant.

When reading this morning Prayfir devotional I realized there are some things in my heart that need a Extreme Makeover". I may be trying to fix the outside of my body but God looks at the heart. I can examine myself in the mirror one hundred times a day yet, I realized that, I should be inspecting my heart as well.

Some things that could need an "Extreme Makeover"

1. Negative thinking
2. Jealousy
3. Being judgemental
4. Critical
5. Lustful
6. Ungratefulness

Those are some that just came to mind and can hinder the inner heart issue while trying to focus on the outer fat issue.

Day #2, I truly worked out all day doing pickups for LifeBuilders. Up and down stairs and moving couches, boxes, lamps and pictures. I haven't worked like that in awhile, so I treated myself to a small icrecream cone. (haha) Its about moderation right! Workout session #3 tomorrow 7am, pray!

Pondering this question:

Do you simply choose to know the path, or do you choose to walk it?

Day 1

I was wondering if I should state the starting weight of my journey, but I realized that would be suicide. I have wrote it down though, on a small piece of paper and I placed it in my sock drawer. My mom brought a scale to dinner tonight! Perfect timing.

I have began the 7am workout sessions, and my wonderful friend Melissa is my partner on the journey. I don't think I need to tell the world that i ate 13 Pringles today, but I do question if Sugar Free Koolwhip is good for you. (I think it is)

I have however thought of a time frame that I have to accomplish my goal. February 27th 2012. My 30th Birthday. That gives me awhile...I dont have an exact goal number, I dont need one of those.

Lord you are the only one who can break down the old nature and replace it with new--forever. My body will break down, my house will need repairs, but YOUR makeover of my heart, my spirit and my mind is permanent. Thank you for making me new. 2 Corinthians 5

Diary of a fat girl

Diary of a Fat Girl was seriously going to be the title of my first book. I have the table of contents and the first three pages saved on my laptop. However, tomorrow is going to be the day of deliverance! I am not into the name it claim it and blab it grab it christian campaign but, I am truly starting a new day tomorrow (or shall I say one more hour).

I have kept food journals, read food magazines, tried food diets, clubs, read books, tried exercises and of course ate whatever and whenever i felt like. Still I remain the same. "ME"

I think that is my final excuse. I am ME.

I know we can get into some deep psychological, deep rooted non sense of what people gorge on Taco Bell (my weakness) and binge and purge (tried that once, I love food to much). But, in reality my reason truly can stem from busyness. I am too busy to do anything else.

So starting in 63 minutes I am going to be a new ME! I might not look different (at first) and I don't have a magic potion to turn into swim suit girl, but what I do have is a God that makes impossible, POSSIBLE and great friends and family.

I have to say that I have grown attached my roll (spare tire) that is somewhat located in the midsection of my body, but we are saying farewell. Tomorrow is a new day and HIS mercy is new (THANK GOD, cause you do not want to know what I ate for dinner!)