A heart translplant.

When reading this morning Prayfir devotional I realized there are some things in my heart that need a Extreme Makeover". I may be trying to fix the outside of my body but God looks at the heart. I can examine myself in the mirror one hundred times a day yet, I realized that, I should be inspecting my heart as well.

Some things that could need an "Extreme Makeover"

1. Negative thinking
2. Jealousy
3. Being judgemental
4. Critical
5. Lustful
6. Ungratefulness

Those are some that just came to mind and can hinder the inner heart issue while trying to focus on the outer fat issue.

Day #2, I truly worked out all day doing pickups for LifeBuilders. Up and down stairs and moving couches, boxes, lamps and pictures. I haven't worked like that in awhile, so I treated myself to a small icrecream cone. (haha) Its about moderation right! Workout session #3 tomorrow 7am, pray!

Pondering this question:

Do you simply choose to know the path, or do you choose to walk it?

Day 1

I was wondering if I should state the starting weight of my journey, but I realized that would be suicide. I have wrote it down though, on a small piece of paper and I placed it in my sock drawer. My mom brought a scale to dinner tonight! Perfect timing.

I have began the 7am workout sessions, and my wonderful friend Melissa is my partner on the journey. I don't think I need to tell the world that i ate 13 Pringles today, but I do question if Sugar Free Koolwhip is good for you. (I think it is)

I have however thought of a time frame that I have to accomplish my goal. February 27th 2012. My 30th Birthday. That gives me awhile...I dont have an exact goal number, I dont need one of those.

Lord you are the only one who can break down the old nature and replace it with new--forever. My body will break down, my house will need repairs, but YOUR makeover of my heart, my spirit and my mind is permanent. Thank you for making me new. 2 Corinthians 5

Diary of a fat girl

Diary of a Fat Girl was seriously going to be the title of my first book. I have the table of contents and the first three pages saved on my laptop. However, tomorrow is going to be the day of deliverance! I am not into the name it claim it and blab it grab it christian campaign but, I am truly starting a new day tomorrow (or shall I say one more hour).

I have kept food journals, read food magazines, tried food diets, clubs, read books, tried exercises and of course ate whatever and whenever i felt like. Still I remain the same. "ME"

I think that is my final excuse. I am ME.

I know we can get into some deep psychological, deep rooted non sense of what people gorge on Taco Bell (my weakness) and binge and purge (tried that once, I love food to much). But, in reality my reason truly can stem from busyness. I am too busy to do anything else.

So starting in 63 minutes I am going to be a new ME! I might not look different (at first) and I don't have a magic potion to turn into swim suit girl, but what I do have is a God that makes impossible, POSSIBLE and great friends and family.

I have to say that I have grown attached my roll (spare tire) that is somewhat located in the midsection of my body, but we are saying farewell. Tomorrow is a new day and HIS mercy is new (THANK GOD, cause you do not want to know what I ate for dinner!)

Preperation H

I was just sitting here preparing for Honduras and I thought I would jot some of my thoughts down.

I am leaving in two days for my first missions trip and I am very excited. More nervous, because I do not speak Spanish fluently. I know the Lord will equip me!

I am teaching the kids on the armor of god "armadura de Dios". I remember praying a few years ago for God to use me. It has been a continual prayer, that God use me in any area He sees fit.

How awesome God is! He has used what the enemy meant for death to reverse my pain and destruction for good. Four years ago a drug addict and now I am traveling telling people about Jesus to little kids and working in full time ministry.

--even though my days seem chaotic and fast even to the point to forgetting to breathe, Jesus continues to be faithful and omnipresent "knowing my every thought".--

I thank God for that.

Poetry

I thought a poem would be suffice for today

At a glance
A deep breath
Fill me once more
Take my hand for a dance

At one word
My punctured heart
Deep wounds
A daggering sword

One whisper
One gentle hello
One unforgettable night
My Lord
My knight

You stole my heart
You captured my soul
Twirl my Lord
Take my hand for a dance

Starbucks Addict & a funeral

Coffee shops give a distinct smell. I know, I would know this because..??? I spend a lot of time in coffee shops, coffee huts, coffee stores...and for the smell, its leaves you smelling like fresh brewed java! I should invent a coffee java perfume and make millions. I truly am addicted to coffee! and books just to throw that in the mix.

On a more serious note, I went to a funeral today. One might call it a sad day and want to feel sympathy which is what normally happens during this time. But being at the funeral today stirred up such a tenacity within me to pour my life into others. Brother Paul Hamlin, within the short time that I knew him had so much joy that it poured into my life. At his funeral today, showed a legacy and a Christ centered life that I love to have and I long for.

Much to say, with tears of sorrow and tears of joy, today I have been given a gift to have known him.

Reality

I have come to the conclusion that I live a fast paced life. While on vacation I have realized that my life is forever ongoing and moving at all times...It wouldn't be me though without the Lord*, school, Life Challenge and balancing a social life along with homework, tests, life's drama and did I mention homework.

So I took a break, traveled a bit, scoured the country. Actually I went to Niles, Michigan and met some wonderful people that were as busy and chaotic as me. So the scenery changed, but life didn't.

I thought I would take this time to reflect on some things that I learned while on vacation.
1. I can now fasten a child into a car seat!
2. How to eat in abundance without throwing up
3. Sleep in.
4. Some pointers on being a Godly mother. (ill get into that later)
5. How to eat in abundance without throwing up
6. To forget that I have a midterm due, class next week and live without the internet for 5 days! can you believe it!

Th most important though is how life changes and how the Lord uses your inadequacies. I want to get married one day and have children and there is so much that I have to learn.